Category Archives: Showbiz

Observations and experiences related to show business.

Things happen for a reason…

Whenever I hear that phrase I want to vomit.

Sorry… that’s just how it is. I’ve never thought much about it and as recently as yesterday I reacted negatively when somebody said it about something.

So… this morning when I was tired and going over my lines in the living room of the Cryer mansion (my living room in Tyler Perry’s The Haves and the Have Nots) I sat down and put my script away. (There’s a fine line between knowing your dialogue well and too well. One breeds natural performance and the other breeds crappy “mirror” acting… in me, anyway).

I decide to read something else for a few minutes and notice a Fine Art magazine there on the coffee table.

For those of you in the “industry” you know that all of the magazines that are laying around on a set actually have fake “approved” covers and that what is inside can be most anything.

I need to back up to the long night before for a moment:

The reason I couldn’t sleep is that it hit me like a ton of bricks that “John Schneider’s Smothered” has yet to get distribution. I thought this movie would be out by now and printing thousand dollar bills for everyone who had anything to do with it. The test audiences have raved. The reviewers have called it “A love letter to the horror fan” and people who don’t like horror films have all said that they loved it.

That and $4.75 will get you a grande non-fat latte after waiting in a long line on any given morning.

So… I open this magazine and see a picture of a woman hiding behind a piece of furniture with creepy arms coming out of it.

“Interesting” thinks I. “This must be about a horror movie.”

Not just another pretty face. I’m pretty damn smart.

I read on…

“THE YEAR’S BUZZIEST FRIGHT FLICK” jumps out at me.

“Oh great” thinks I. “At least somebodies horror film is printing those thousand dollar bills.”

Bitter..? A little. Disappointed..? Yeah. Embarrassed..? You bet your sweet bippy.

I read on about this film that has taken the industry by storm with it’s plot twists and fresh approach to the genre.

Then I saw it…

Remember what makes me vomit when I hear it? Now I’m going to actually SAY it… listen…

“All things happen for a reason.”

This is what I saw on the next page of this phony Fine Art magazine that had been sitting on this set for two seasons:

God is listening...
God is listening…

In case you can’t read it… allow me:

“We shot the film and had an amazing time, and then it disappeared for three years.”

Thanks, Universe… I needed to hear that. I guess all things do happen for a reason!

Final note… The Cabin in The Woods went on to make 66 million dollars. Way to go!

-Schneider-

How did I get so lucky

As the season winds down for “The Haves and the Have Nots” i find myself wondering how it could be that I’ve been around for so long.

I remember, as a kid, watching shows with Bill Bixby: My Favorite Martian, The Courtship of Eddie’s Father, The Magician and then Th Hulk and thinking “This guy is the hardest working actor in show business!”

Little did I know that, at 54, I would be so fortunate to have been in a different landmark show for several generations.

Consider these: The Dukes of Hazzard, Dr. Quinn, Walker Texas Ranger, Nip Tuck, Smallville, The Secret Life of the American Teenager, Desperate Housewives, Hot in Cleveland, Leverage, Mistresses and now The Haves and the Have Nots.

I was having a conversation with someone my age yesterday and someone very young happened to be in the room. She didn’t know Dukes or Smallville so I said “Wait… I’ll get you.” I figured her for around twenty-three so I said “Secret Life. I was Marshall Bowman.” This girl lit up like a Christmas tree and told me all about my character and how the writer had destroyed my stellar reputation posthumously.

How cool is it to have been a part of so many people’s lives? Amazingly cool. I truly am the luckiest actor in showbiz to have such loyal fans and to have had them for so long.

And now… with you HHN fans? You all are off the charts! Thank you for loving the show and loving to hate me on it. What a blast I have on the Addicts of the Haves and the Have Nots page! You all are too much.

Enjoy the show tonight… just 2 more left… and get ready for what’s coming next week. I guarantee you that nobody will see it coming!

Thanks you all for keeping me around all these years. I’ll do my best to keep finding movies and television that makes you want to continue. If I missed your favorite show up there in the list, I’m sorry. I forget things sometimes and wanted to get this out before the show came on tonight and I have a studio to build!

 

Work Day at the studio!

My great friend Dane Rhodes from  Smothered put out an invite for some of his friends to come do some “work around the studio” this weekend.

It pays to have friends like Dane because 90 people responded! There will be 90 people at the studio tomorrow working their fingers to the bone.

Don’t worry… I have fire ants and fire ants LOVE bony fingers!

After the day’s work we will all be watching Smothered in the very location where it was shot! Pretty cool… especially since I now have evidence that the studio really is haunted!

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Darned fire ants and their peanut butter…

A “friendly spirit” seems to float around the lake area. I learned that an actress drowned up there in 1914. I’m in the process of finding out who and why now. Will keep you posted.

Here’s to Dane and his friends. The studio is going to be MUCH better for the effort!

Onward!

Schneider

I’m baaack

Feels good to be reunited. To be affirmed. To matter…

Received a very nice note from a computer at FaceBook this morning saying that they had eliminated my account accidentally.

It was concise and apologetic. Computers are that way.

Thank you all who joined in the fight to make this happen. You did it!

Now make sure and watch the mid season finale of Tyler Perry’s The Haves and the Have Nots tomorrow! It’s going to rock your world!

If you can make it to the Sneaky Peak showing of John Schneider’s Smothered at Mad Monster Party in Charlotte come on! It’s next Friday the 21st. I want it packed!

Off to the hardware store… again!

Schneider

 

Yes! I got it back!

A few years ago I made a movie called “Collier & Co.” Many of you likely saw it. Hopefully you watched it with your kids and it reminded you of a certain show you used to watch when you were a kid! Truck___Trailer_For_Sale_004

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If you like cars… you will LOVE this movie!

I have been wanting to make another one because not a day goes by when someone doesn’t bring it up. “What happened to Collier 2?” they would say.

Here’s the story: The folks who distributed the film on DVD moved a lot of DVD’s. Several hundred thousand of them I believe!

Well… when the company went bankrupt… they never paid me.

Not a dime. Let me say that again… not a dime.

Not one… thin… dime.

Long story short… I loved that film… I lost my butt on that film… and to be honest… I lost some of the respect of my family on that film.Back_of_CD_box

I even thought I sold the “car-star” of the film on Ebay for almost 10 million dollars and was going to use that money to make “Collier & Co. 2”

The guy denied bidding. It was big news for a whole week. REALLY BIG!

Bummer. But that was then and this is now!

Don’t live in the past, John!

I am happy to be able to say that ALL rights to John Schneider’s “Collier & Co.” have reverted back to… John Schneider!

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Nearly the whole gang that made the film. Don Gilley (who did 20 jobs including stunt double and actor) took the picture!

That’s me. I got my movie back!!!

And here’s what I’m going to do with it… Some time in the near future my team and I are going to open what we are calling “THE WORLDS BIGGEST DRIVE IN” and we’re not only going to show the film but also have an open chat afterwards for an hour or so exclusively for those of you who saw the movie at the “Drive In.”

Pretty slick, huh?

I’m not sure exactly when or how much admission will be but I wanted you to be the first to know that this is going to happen.

Tell me what you think of this idea and please pass the word about the Worlds Biggest Drive In!