I am fascinated with the notion that I should comply to fit into what other people’s notion of what I am “supposed” to be… is.
To be the way they think I should be…
Think the way I should think…
Like the things they think I should like…
Express myself in the way they think I should.
Not going to happen.
I listen to the voices in my head. Not the voices in theirs.
Their voices are theirs to act on, ignore… to do with as they please. As they see fit.
I don’t deny them theirs… and would appreciate the same courtesy in return.
The characters in my head (and therefore that come out of my fingers onto this laptop and eventually in front of a camera) are real. They are as three dimensional as anyone you have ever met.
People make impressions on me. Situations. Dialogue. Sayings. Victories. Failures. Conquests and pain all stick to my soul like flies on a fly strip… rats on a sticky pad.
They are not mine… I am theirs.
As JR Collier is known to say… “I can’t not.”
So know that, if you really are a fan of mine… of me… not of some noble notion you have put up on a wall in the form of brittle parchment with my picture on it… that you must give voice to all the voices that come forth.
All the voices.
They may use harsh language and do things that are hard… biting… and, occasionally seemingly mean spirited…
But I assure you that they are all in search of a noble cause.
Freedom from tyranny and tyrannical relationships.
The right to love, worship, despise and be heard by a hundred people who care… or one.
They are real stories about real situations that have happened or been imagined and dreamed of by real people run though the paper filter that is my collective experience.
To toss any of these characters, stories, notions out the window is like throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Never a good idea unless of course the baby has been crying all night and you have an early day tomorrow (see… I heard that nearly fifty years ago at a barbershop and it just crept out of my ear!).
To know my stories is to know me. To reject any one of them is to reject me.
You, of course, are free to do whichever you like. Listen to your voices… your histories. Demons… Savior.
I offer mine up for public exhibition… execution.
I am… like my others… a Driven Character.