Whenever I hear that phrase I want to vomit.
Sorry… that’s just how it is. I’ve never thought much about it and as recently as yesterday I reacted negatively when somebody said it about something.
So… this morning when I was tired and going over my lines in the living room of the Cryer mansion (my living room in Tyler Perry’s The Haves and the Have Nots) I sat down and put my script away. (There’s a fine line between knowing your dialogue well and too well. One breeds natural performance and the other breeds crappy “mirror” acting… in me, anyway).
I decide to read something else for a few minutes and notice a Fine Art magazine there on the coffee table.
For those of you in the “industry” you know that all of the magazines that are laying around on a set actually have fake “approved” covers and that what is inside can be most anything.
I need to back up to the long night before for a moment:
The reason I couldn’t sleep is that it hit me like a ton of bricks that “John Schneider’s Smothered” has yet to get distribution. I thought this movie would be out by now and printing thousand dollar bills for everyone who had anything to do with it. The test audiences have raved. The reviewers have called it “A love letter to the horror fan” and people who don’t like horror films have all said that they loved it.
That and $4.75 will get you a grande non-fat latte after waiting in a long line on any given morning.
So… I open this magazine and see a picture of a woman hiding behind a piece of furniture with creepy arms coming out of it.
“Interesting” thinks I. “This must be about a horror movie.”
Not just another pretty face. I’m pretty damn smart.
I read on…
“THE YEAR’S BUZZIEST FRIGHT FLICK” jumps out at me.
“Oh great” thinks I. “At least somebodies horror film is printing those thousand dollar bills.”
Bitter..? A little. Disappointed..? Yeah. Embarrassed..? You bet your sweet bippy.
I read on about this film that has taken the industry by storm with it’s plot twists and fresh approach to the genre.
Then I saw it…
Remember what makes me vomit when I hear it? Now I’m going to actually SAY it… listen…
“All things happen for a reason.”
This is what I saw on the next page of this phony Fine Art magazine that had been sitting on this set for two seasons:
In case you can’t read it… allow me:
“We shot the film and had an amazing time, and then it disappeared for three years.”
Thanks, Universe… I needed to hear that. I guess all things do happen for a reason!
Final note… The Cabin in The Woods went on to make 66 million dollars. Way to go!