Not sure

Honestly, when my phone rang and I saw that it was a publicist of mine I assumed that it was about the haves and have nots. 

Then, when he asked if it would be okay to share the photos we took that day I gave it serious thought.

After several moments I decided that it would be okay to share that particular very personal moment with the press. 

Now, having seen the photographs computer screen, I’m just not sure.

That moment… or rather those moments capyture a lifetime of love, affection, frustration, and ultimately, grief. 

I’m glad that they are there because I desire for people to witness the value of a father in their lives. 

If you are fortunate enough to have your parents or even one of them still around, I urge you 2 spend time with them, return their phone calls, tell them you love them.

I appreciate your outpouring of sentiment about my dad. It is true… There is indeed a hole in New York where my father used to be.


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29 thoughts on “Not sure”

  1. I’m So Sorry for the Pain U Still Feel ,The Pain will get easier to Live with ,Time does Not heal all things as they say ,I Know That but,It does get easier to Live with That’s Not Much is it ? I know It isn’t ..I live with the Lose of My Grandmother and I still Miss her every day,I didn’t Have the Dad that I wish I had and Don’t feel by him as U Did UR Dad,So it’s My Grand Mother that I miss so very Much..And Yes I Live with And take Care Of My 80 Year old Mother but,There again I don’t and Never did have the Mother U Do so,we aren’t Like Mother and Daughter More like I’m her servant or something..So,I deal the Best I can with the life God Gave Me ,I never knew what love real Love was nor How Much U Could Love some one until Sept.1974 And I Also didn’t Know that U Couldn’t Forget or get over such love either until I tried ,It Don’t happen..
    Ya,I wish I had Even Good Parent’s But,I didn’t And I So feel for U In UR lose,Of A Wonderful Dad..God Bless My Hero ..
    Always and For ever..

  2. I was deeply emotive seeing those pictures. They touched my heart. That was a very private & hard time for you. I thank you for sharing those. I’m still fortunate to have my father with me although he is battling illness. My thoughts went straight to him. I called him up. He’s a 10 hour drive from where I live so don’t see him much. None of us know what lies before us. Every chance we get never forget to tell our loved ones that we love them.

  3. ~*~
    Dear John,
    I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your father. Your photograph by Mr. Cowart captures is one of the most difficult, if not, THE most difficult moments & experiences we all go through in our lives. I thank you for this genuine moment as I completely understand.
    Many years ago I was requesting your presence at a fund raiser at Mystic Marine Life Aquarium in CT….it would have been wonderful to have you there but show business always has future commitments for special celebrities….I understood.
    You are a wonderful actor and your genuine qualities always shine through….You are a Star!
    May God give you strength at this time in your life….
    In understanding….We will see our loved ones again,

  4. So sorry for your loss John. I lost my dad in July so I have an idea about how you are feeling. In my case, the grief didn’t come immediately. I was happy for him that he was no longer suffering, but more importantly that he was with the Lord. So my grief seeps out gradually…. Little things remind me of him and I cry. Some day for both of us, the good memories won’t hurt anymore. God bless you and your family.

  5. John, I am VERY thankful that you allowed those pictures to be shown of you. My father died of a major stroke on October 15th, 30 days before your father did and I sat by his bedside for 4 days before he finally left this world. I still couldn’t cry. The actor came out of me and I just went numb. I had to be strong for my mother and family. My father made number 3 out of 4 since May that went to Heaven, Uncle Dan died Dec. 28, so in my mind, there wasn’t time to feel. When I saw those pictures, it was like they were saying “it’s okay” you don’t have to be the actor all the time. Without you knowing it, you were telling me that you were going through the same pain, so let me show you how to let it go. Thank you John. Thank you because in a weird way, I needed to see those pictures to turn the actor in me off.

  6. I feel for you, John, at your time of loss. It’s very hard to lose a parent. It’s been especially hard for me when I lost my Mom because she had always lived downstairs from my husband and I. I dream about her often and think about her every day, but I focus on the good times we had and how she used to make me laugh. And she still makes me laugh! Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with your fans. We certainly appreciate it. God bless.

  7. I saw the news story before I saw your blog. It was very moving… There is no way for me, for anyone really to understand your loss. Except for Jesus. He holds you in His comforting arms, and then you can just think of that day when you’ll meet your loved ones again. I prayed many times for you on that day when you told everyone. Thank you for sharing this. I still have both my parents, and will try my best to cherish every moment I have with them. God bless you, John, for always thinking of others. ❤ Love and prayers…

  8. John, I’m so touched by the photos, and my heart truly goes out to you. I was especially close to my mom, who I lost in 2003. Since then, I haven’t had any family left except for some cousins, and even though I’m blessed with many amazing and loving friends who’ve become my new ‘family’, there’s always that hole – that emptiness – that’s never filled up. I can only imagine how difficult the holidays were for y’all this year, because those traditionally family times will always be some of the toughest to experience going forward. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself in so many ways – in the good times and also in the difficult times. God bless you.

  9. Hi John I also think you did very well in letting us see and share with us those moments of life that we all go and I personally also happens with the death of my father and so I also understood very well your feeling, when I saw expressing these pictures of you at that time what you felt and you cry a little too are very special and beautiful those pictures thanks for sharing those special moments with us your fans we love you too

  10. I was awestruck when I read the post and saw the pics from that day. You truly are an amazing person. I know that your dad was so proud of you. If it’s any consolation, those are some of the best pics that I’ve seen of you. They were real.

  11. John, thank you for that personal perspective of your dad. It’s so true, we often take our family members for granted, “they’ll always be there…” But life is a cycle, and things happen when we least expect. So cherish these days with our loved ones. Right now, I am visiting my son who just returned from Afghanistan – back home after a hard deployment. Watching his wife and children shower him with love was so heartwarming for me. They cared about all those days of not hearing anything from him and now he’s back in their arms…but so many others did not have such good luck. We must always be mindful that this life is only temporary. Love, honor, and cherish your loved ones while you can.

  12. I was awestruck whe I read the blog and saw the pics of that moment. You truly are an incredible person. I know that your dad was so proud of the man that you had become.

  13. I appreciate your being willing to share those very personal moments. As you say from time to time, people tend to put celebrities in a box – to see them as they want to see them and not as they are. You are just like all the rest of us – a human being with feelings from the greatest of joy to the deepest of sorrow.
    I understand also the value of relationship with parents. I have lost both of mine. Both to Alzheimer’s. My daddy and I were best buddies! We used to go for ‘ride abouts’ as he called them, in his pickup truck in the country. My mother was not a social person, so I was always his ‘date’ for any social affair he needed to attend. I treasure those sweet memories. He’s been gone nearly 12 years now, and I still miss him as if it were yesterday. There is truly a hole in my heart that will never be filled. But, I have the comfort of knowing that we’ll be together again. I thank you for allowing your true heart to be shared. It reminds us all that you are one of us. One of the things I appreciate most about you – you’re real!

  14. Well, it’s a little too late for second thoughts on your part. I don’t see anything wrong with it. Many people aren’t able to capture the moment of loss like you were able to. My dad lives 550 miles away. I’m hoping to go see him this year, if I can afford it. God bless you! And it’s okay to show that you’re still human.

  15. I no longer have either of my parents and there is a hole in my heart because of that. One day that hole will be filled when our Lord takes me to Heaven as my parents are there waiting for that glorious day when I join them. It is the same with you, John. Meanwhile we both have our memories to help get us through. God Bless you.

  16. It was the right thing to do. And if not, it’s too late now . It’s okay for people to see you show emotion. You are human. Not some alien with emotions.

  17. This comes from the bottom of my heart, from the deepest of my soul.

    This is why people love you, why I love you. Maybe it sounds strange but I think these are the best pictures of you in your life…ever. I know the confrontation is hard especially because it’s still so fresh, but you will cherish them later on.

    Deep respect for showing them, don’t know if I could have… They hit me straight in my heart and I broke down when I saw them.

    You want to reach out to you, hold you, comfort you, whispering to you that everything will be ok. Even when you know in the back of your mind that it will not, because someone you love is ripped out of your life, out of your soul and there’s a huge hole there. A hole that will slowly heal and that will get a little smaller but that will never close completely.

    Those photos made me cry. And I know what your saying up here… I agree completely. And I know that what I’m gonna say now probably make people fall over me again (maybe even you) but I don’t know what’s worse. Losing your dad who loved you your whole life, who was there for you your whole life or knowing there’s a dad somewhere out there who doesn’t want you anymore, who thinks you are to much trouble.

    Don’t be ashamed, there’s nothing to be ashamed for. Cherish those pictures John. You were, and are a lucky man with parents like that.

  18. “They” say time heals all things, but I don’t necessarily agree. Time usually brings acceptance and adjustment, but not always healing.

    Mr. John, I know it will take you and your family a while to adjust to life without your father here. Please accept our deepest condolences and know that you and your family remain in our thoughts and prayers and will remain there for quite some time.

    Take care…

  19. I know that pain and it’s a hard one to get through. I lost my dad 10 years ago to COPD and while time goes by and you move on, sometimes the pain is still there. Same with losing a sibling, regardless of how much time has gone by, you wish that they were still there. But, when you carry them in your heart with you, the pain does lessen. I carry them with me everyday.

    Now from a photographer’s point of view, Jeremy did a great job with capturing those moments. They were really raw and emotional. So much, that I could only glance at them, not fully look at them, because I know how that shock goes.

  20. We all appreciate what you do. It was very touching for the ones that have seen all the photos that were put up. It makes you look more human. Some of us forget that you are just that, human with real feelings and emotions just like the rest of us. I called my parents directly after I saw them.

  21. i loved the pictures. it takes alot of guts to pour ur heart out like that especially to show’em to the public. i wanted to cry along with you as i looked at’em. and even writing this now i my throat is hurting tryin not to cry.

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