a simple debatable observation

okay… I’m a writer. Mostly. At least that’s what I think of myself as as I’m brushing my teeth. Now… I’m not so much making a statement or saying something “is” here but, rather…  want to toss a question out there about a tendency  I believe I have noticed over the past 50 or so years and see what you all have to say about it.

It’s important that both males and females pipe in on this one or someone will be in a world of hurt!

Charlie worked his butt off today doing yard work. Pulling stumps. Raking leaves. Cleaning gutters. You know the guy. But when he comes inside and his wife or son or daughter or mother say “Wow… that looked like a whole lot of work. You must be exhausted!”

What is Charlie’s response?

There is no right or wrong answer here. But I do want to know what you, man and woman alike, believe his response would be.


Sally just ran to the store after dropping the kids off to school. She got a Starbucks on the way to the gas station and then went to the PO box to drop something off. In fact… Sally’s day was filled with things like that. Her day ended with picking up the kids and bringing them home to a meal she made for them before getting them ready for bed. The mother, Charlie, daughter or whoever says “How was your day, Sally?”

What is Sally’s response?

Again… no right or wrong answer here. I’m a writer… remember? I’m interested in things like this.

No fighting or name calling now. This is purely an intellectual exercise. I’ll read your responses and get back to blogging in a few days.



32 thoughts on “a simple debatable observation”

  1. “But when he comes inside and his wife or son or daughter or mother say ‘Wow… that looked like a whole lot of work. You must be exhausted!’ ”
    Most guys hear things like that so little, I can imagine there’d be a startled look. And then, (if it’s Charlie’s wife), it would end up in a huge liplock for sure.

  2. Charlie’s response? “Yup. So what’s for supper? I think I’ll go up & take a shower.”

    Sally’s response? “Do you really want to know? Well, getting out the door this morning was an absolute zoo. Mike was taking his good old time getting out the door. And then he couldn’t find one of his shoes. We ran around like crazy people trying to find his shoe. Here it was behind the couch. How would his shoe even get behind the couch? And then Megan accidentally kicked the dog’s water over. And I couldn’t leave it because it would damage the floor. So I ran into the laundry room to grab one of the old towels. Then the kids were fighting over who yelled shotgun first. The line in front of the school was all backed up. I told the kids we had to get going so we’d miss all the last minute drop-offs, but no. Why don’t they ever think of shoes before we’re ready to leave? And then at the store I only had to pick up a few things. You know the kind of toilet paper we like? Well, it was on sale, & I had a coupon. So I got 2 8-packs because it was a really good deal. But then something went wrong with the cash register just when I got up there. They had to call the manager over. He was busy taking care of somebody who’s car got hit with a shopping cart. Why aren’t people more careful with their shopping carts? I always walk mine over and put it where it belongs. It’s not really that hard. Then I wanted something from Starbucks. First I thought something hot would be good. And then I saw the signboard at the Drive-thru and saw the words “peppermint & frappucino”. Ah-mazing!!! So I ordered that, but when she gave it to me, it was HUGE. With trying to mess with the drink & the change, I dropped most of the coins into that black hole in cars between the seat & the console. I just know they’re gonna get sucked up in the vacuum next time I clean out the car. Do you know how annoying that is? One time a napkin got sucked in & I had to take the whole vacuum apart to unstick it. Then I decided to go to that gas station that has gas a little cheaper because it was on the way to the post office. But they’re doing construction work, and I had to drive way out around to try to get there. I ran into the post office to pick up some stamps & ran into Jen. She’s doing great. She & Kevin just came back from vacation. Etc, etc, etc…
    It was a completely crazy day, and I’m done in. But thanks for asking.”

  3. CHARLIE is thinking to himself about his long, hard day: “I’ve had it, I’m tired, and no one really cares. I shouldn’t be doing all this menial work. It’s a waste of my time. I could be surfing on rolling waves in Hawaii, or even deep-sea diving in the warm Atlantic. I could be tearing it up mountain climbing or better yet, skydiving over the open blue skies in Montana. But I’m stuck here, and there’s nothing more I can do about it.”
    Meanwhile, SALLY struggles through her day: “I wish the day were longer. There’s too much to do and not enough time. My honey works hard and he seems so happy. But there are days when I wonder if I made the right choice. Is this what I want out of life? Am I happy? Do I make Charlie happy? Does he even care or think about me except when it’s time for dinner or… Well, I don’t want to hurt him, so I’ll just go on doing the things I supposed to do and be quiet about it.”

  4. Ok so in regards to the husband… I’ll try not to overthink it. 😉
    I’m a woman… Who was raised by a man who took pleasure in hard work… Married to a man who would do anything to avoid it… So I think the man would appreciate the fact that the family acknowledged it. He might even inquire as to why they didn’t come out and help. 😉
    As far as Sally goes, I think she might reply that her day was busy, but productive…. At least I think it was.

  5. I think stopping in Dukes Of Hazzard page from time to time is a great place to hang out. Even if it’s only for 5 mins. The site has went viral to this day, and the fans loves the cast stopping in. Just my 2 cents also you could asking everyone to stop in this page. I think that would be the way to go to make the best of your time.

  6. First Off a Statement like is loaded..lol Both I’m Quit sure as U Said are very exhausted!” And If it were Me I’d be very Shocked at them Saying/Asking something like that to start with,But As for Charlie ,I think he might say ya,sure could have used some help.This would be after he got a Grip on him self from the statement ..lol And Sally ,I think She would say,Normal nothing out of the Ordinary And if she is the type to do so ,she might even begin to tell them a little about who she saw or what had Happened while she was out running errands ,I think Both Would Understand that the Person Is only trying to be Nice,Don’t U Think..? I think that Understanding the reason Helps people to deal with things said or done ,Don’t U ?
    I know I can deal with things a lot Better If I understand the reason Behind What is say or Done.And I really Feel Most people are the same in that way,I could Be wrong but,I’m going on my self.
    Some people need a reason to do things,I saw a show once and the Older lady say life isn’t fair People need a reason to get up in the Morning and at my age when U find one life kicks U in the teeth and takes it away.
    Do U get My Point ? If Not what I’m trying to say is if people can understand some thing it’s easier to deal with for them ,they May or may not agree with it But ,they understand why.
    I guess that’s one reason I try every hard to help people to Understand Me these days,I’ve always been a very quit Person Keeping things well every thing to my self so,it’s very hard for me to express my self where people can understand what I mean and people most often take things I say wrong and get their Feels Hurt,I would Never Hurt with intent ,I understand being hurt all to well.
    I’m sorry U didn’t ask for all this did U ?
    Have a great Day John..
    always & Forever


    1. Interesting perspective. The main point is that men and women react to the same situations differently. It’s not a bad thing but it is the basis of “maleness” and also of “femaleness.” One cannot expect a similar reaction from a similar event from the other.

      1. It’s not simply a male or female perspective. I assumed from your info that Charlie worked outside the home and Sally did not. In my home, I, the female, an the one working, while my husband stays home. I consider all the things he does during the day as his job. Transporting our son, buying groceries, cooking dinner and washing clothes. I don’t thank him for doing those things as I don’t expect him to thank me…. However, if I decide to do yard work on my day off, you can be your sweet ass that I’m getting help!

      2. That’s true,I really didn’t think of that..I don’t Know Why..Thanks For Helping Me to Wake Up and Smell the Coffee..I needed that,I have been thinking as a woman and Hadn’t seen things from the other side,I am sorry for that,I also have read through other Post that have Been made to Your Blogs and they one more than another has also Helped me to understand Something else that I didn’t fully get,I was willing because…But I can understand it better after what was said,Thank you for being you,
        You give me more reasons all the time to say He is My Hero…

        Always And forever

  7. Charlie wearily stumbles over to the recliner with beer in hand, plops into the chair and kicks up his feet. He takes a few moments to catch his breath and waits for his heart to quit leaping out of his chest.. His hands might be trembling as he holds his beer. His fingers stiff and throbbing from the days exertion. Next he might ask Sally for the heating pad for his aching back. His back at this point feeling as though it was trampled on by a stampede of cattle. Oddly enough there would not be anger in his eyes but a glint of pride followed by a smile of satisfaction that dances across his face. He would take a deep breath and talk to his kids with an open and honest heart. Sharing that there is a sense of pride in taking care of the things that you work so hard for in life. It might not be easy, but it is worth it. He then might reach for the remote and reward himself with a game on TV. My interpretation of Charlie would be of pride and gratitude. Maybe swearing under his breath during the chores, but once the chores are completed it would turn to pride. As tired as he is, he recalls in his mind, his buddy Danny, that is left in a wheelchair and confined to his own imprisonment in life. Realizing that Danny would give anything to climb a ladder, stand up and rake some leaves or any other mundane chore. Charlie knows that as exhausting as his day has been it is blessed because he has the abilities to complete the tasks. Charlie turns off the game and reaches to the phone to dial his buddy, Danny….

  8. This is my thoughts on Charlie:
    First Charlie is a hard worker(and that is hard to find this day and time but there are still some Charlie’s out there). I can see right off two responses Charlie could have if not 3. the first may be, Yes it was a lot of hard work but,, it is worth it see right on the spot where the stumps were is where I am going to build by dream garage with a gym in the back of it. where I can build not only my charger from bottom up but I can also build my muscles on by home gym. How excided he is that his dream is about to come true .2nd thought is this that Charlie may say Yes you are right it was a lot of hard work but, now where all the stumps were I am going to plant your mom Sara a flower garden that she has always dreamed of, and for you Richard your own small basket ball court since your dream is to be a famous basketball player one day. And for my 5 year old daughter Michelle her own playground with a sand box swing and slide and a play house just for her and there is still room for me a hammock where I can rest after a long day and watch my family enjoy there dreams. 3rr, Charlie may answer this way. Yes it was hard work and you could have came out and helped but as usual you stayed in and done nothing. He come in to the house with his muddy boots and his dirty pants and goes straight to the living room sits down on the couch and props his feet up on the coffee table and tell his wife it is her turn to do something to go make him something to eat and to be fast about it. He tell the kids to go to there rooms so he can watch the game in peace.( what a jerk! )

  9. Charlie might say: no i am not necessarily tired but it was a good workout.

    Sally might say: this old routine is getting boring need to change it up a bit.

  10. If I were Charlie part of me would want to say well I wouldn’t be so exhausted if you’d of helped seeing as he is only working outside where his wife and daughter could see him.
    As for Sally her day sounds like most days I have.

  11. Oh, my, John! For Charlie, he deserves an ice cold beer and a nap. And it is good to have a man do this. Sally, also had a hard day, although it may not seem like it. I work full time, and I do what she does on my days off from work. I don’t do Starbucks…..I brew my own. I believe running errands is just as tedious as the physical labor Charlie did. Sally’s is more of a mental chore. She has to remember all that needs to be done. And driving all day can be a pain in the butt or back, literally.

  12. Charlie’s response…( My butts dragging it’s tracks…gonna grab a shower..get a ice cold beer relax & Watch the game)

    Sally’s response… ( Pucked Tuckered!! done a lot of running today gonna take a bubble bath relax & read a book before calling it a night)

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